Today sucks! That may seem a little harsh, but that's how I feel about February 21st. A lot of bad memories surround today, along with a few really great ones. I remember driving home from the hospital and thinking that I couldn't wait for some time to pass so that it wouldn't hurt so much. For the most part, time is the perfect healer. But today my heart aches just as it did on this day 7 years ago.
When you lose your spouse, you're a widow. When you lose your parents, you're an orphan. But there is no word to define a parent who has lost a child. That's because there are no words to describe the pain and helplessness you feel when your child is suffering or passes away. It's just not supposed to happen.
It's been too long since I've held my little boy and kissed his sweet little cheeks. I look forward to an eternity with my perfect little guy.
12 Comments:
I remember the pain you were in and I know you still hold that pain. What I want for you now is to stay righteous and one day you and that little gentlemen will embrace for a great long time. I love you and will keep you in my prayers.
I have been thinking of you and Austin all day. I am sad for you, but happy for the knowledge that someday you will hold him again. He must have been a very choice spirit to be welcomed home after such a short time on earth. I love you and look forward to meeting my sweet nephew someday!
I remember the pain too, I didn't know you, but I knew it all from Chelsea. I wept with you, and prayed for you. I can't wait for your family to be with him again one day.. Untill that day, take everyday as a day to prepare for that day, and embrace each day with happiness. hugs.
Hugs!!!
I am so sorry for sucky days. One day this we will enjoy hot chocolate or McDonalds french fries or Diet Coke and I will just hug you.
Where are the words to make things okay...you are in my thoughts.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I have no words. You're in my prayers tonight.
I thought when you asked me yesterday at the party if I knew what today was...and I said yes, I thought you were talking about Austin.. not twilghlight. I am actually amazed that you were even out of bed yesterday. It seems that I never know how to help on those sucky days and don't know if you care to talk about it or if you just want to be left alone. Hopefully, you know I will never forget and always have a prayer for you in my heart, especially around those certain days. Hopefully , we can reconnect somehow in the next few weeks. I've been in my own world lately too. You're always in my thoughts.Take care.
I must tell you Kristen, after I posted a comment about your visiting birds, I was scrolling down and the picture of Austin came in view on my screen. I thought... he is sending the birds.
Just now I was scrolling down, reading your post, and the picture of the bird came up as it is the next post. Once again I thought--he is sending his mommy birdies from heaven.
I think of you and Mark, and although temporary, a most painful loss that happened to my dear Ohio friends.
The sorrow you suffer here in this temporary state should make his little cheeks so much sweeter to kiss...
Thanks for sharing-- Much Love from Scott and I.
I am also at a loss for words, but please know you are in my prayers. I am truly amazed at your strength.
You know, after I lost my dad, it made me think a lot about those who have lost dear ones close to them. I thought about you and the heart ache you must have gone through, and continue to feel from losing your child. It really has made death more of a reality to me.. and I've thought about what it would be like to lose others that are close to me. As painful as it was to lose him so unexpectedly, I know that losing one of my precious girls would undoubtedly be 100 times worse. Like you said, there are no words for that. I can't imagine life without them. I can't wait to see and hug my dad again... and I'm sure you can't wait to hold that precious boy in your arms! Lots of love and prayers for you!
I can't possibly imagine the pain is must be to lose a child. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
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